How to say “No.”

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By Chasity Kuttrus

We’re almost into the last month of 2012. It’s the holidays. It’s the end of the year. We’re all rushing around, shopping, celebrating and trying to tie up loose ends from 2012 and planning for 2013. And the requests for time, money, help and more keep coming in. At some point, you’re going to have to say “No” to some things. And that’s hard.

But it doesn’t have to be. In fact, the more you say “No” the better at saying “No” you become. Here are 5 ways to get you started.

1. Recognize that there is nothing wrong with saying no.
Really, I promise. You own your time and your life. Very few circumstances leave you with no options. And, it’s better to say no than to say yes and disappoint.

2. Remember, the “Yeses” add up.
Lots of small requests add up and before you know it, you’re spending all of your time on relatively unimportant favors, requests and tasks for others.

3. Know what you want.
It’s a lot easier to say no to things you don’t want when you know what it is that you do want. If you want to work with a certain type of client but another type approaches you, if you know what you want, it’s much easier to say no thanks.

3. Be polite and confident.
It’s always a good idea to be kind and polite when saying “no.” And, decline with confidence. If you waffle, you may find yourself agreeing to a part of the request or, even worse, the entire request!

4. Be brief.
Overexplaining the reason you’re saying no undermines your own confidence. The person does not need to know details. Honestly, it’s none of their business. Provide a brief reason and then move on.

The first time you decline a request, it will be extremely empowering. The more you say “No,” the more in control of your time and talents you will feel. Try it! (But don’t say “no” to this request, though!)

The Best Present…is Being Present

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By Chasity Kuttrus

How can it already be Thanksgiving?  If you’re like me, you feel like the Fourth of July was just yesterday!

But time marches on, doesn’t it? And try as we might, we can’t slow it down. But we can make better use of every moment we have. We can take some measures to be more present in our lives. When we’re present, we enjoy things, moments and people more. We take less for granted and we feel more fulfilled.

Here are some ideas to help you slow down a bit, to live in the “now” and enjoy your life just a bit more this holiday season.

Slow Down
That’s a tough one, especially during this time of the year! But sometimes by slowing down, you get more done. Rushing leads to mistakes, frenzy and frustration. Act more slowly, deliberately and thoughtfully. You’ll be surprised at the difference it will make.

Sit
Why do you have to be doing all the time? Just sit. When you have a moment between meetings or appointments, quit checking your email, scanning a magazine or making a quick call. Try just sitting.

Pay Attention
While you’re sitting, quit thinking about what’s going to happen next. Look around you and see what’s happening right now. If you’re so busy thinking about “what’s next” you’ll miss something really important, like the sweet smile on your daughter’s face, the sun bouncing off the clouds, or the very moment when the fragrance of your pumpkin pie starts to fill the house.

Observe
Be in a constant state of observation. Sit back and watch things unfold from where you sit. See how people act and interact. You’ll learn a lot about others – and the world – just by watching for a change.

Listen
When someone talks to you – put down the phone, look away from the computer or TV or from whatever you’re doing. Listen, really listen, to what they’re saying to you. Ask questions and repeat what they’ve said back to them so they know you’re truly engaged.

The next five weeks are going to be crazy ones. The irony is that the holidays are supposed to be about being together and spending time with loved ones, yet we spend so much time stressed out and frantic. This year, try something different. Be present. Because the only thing your family and friends really want from you….is you.

Inspirational Insights – Caroline Golon

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We are lucky to have so many tremendous women in our community! You’ve met quite a few of them in our Woman of the Week feature. Now, we’re going to ask them some probing questions and see what kind of insights we can glean from these talented, successful women. Some are Executive Elements clients and some are not. Some are seasoned professionals and some are just starting out in their career. And all are super smart!

Caroline Golon

Today we’re chatting with Caroline Golon, founder of High Paw Media, a content development, PR and social media firm.

EE: What do you know now that you wish you’d known when you first started out?

Caroline: In my first job, I had the most incredible bosses. I was a little 22-year-old living in New York City, trying to figure it all out. I was so naïve about so much! These ladies took me under their wings professionally and personally. They taught me things, let me learn and make mistakes and allowed me to create my own projects and do things the way I thought they should be done. I worked in a fast-paced, fun and creative environment with bosses who cared about my success. I didn’t realize at the time what a gift that was! I thought that all jobs would be like that. Unfortunately, they weren’t. I wish I’d appreciated my situation at the time and stayed in that job longer. I had no idea how good I had it!

But today, I am completely appreciative of all the great work and incredible clients I have. I learned not to take things for granted. Thank you, Pat and Jenny!

7 Steps to Exude Positivity

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by Chasity Kuttrus

Nobody likes negativity. It creeps into the work place, poisons teams and exhausts even the most patient of colleagues, bosses and employees. On the flip side, positive people are nice to be around, they raise spirits and morale and make more of an impact on the work place environment than you may realize.

It’s not easy to be positive all the time. But with a little self-awareness, you can face the day with an upbeat, “can do” attitude.

Here are 7 ways to leverage your “Inner Positive Energy” every single day….

1. Make it your business to know your colleagues’ strengths. By taking a minute to pinpoint the talents of your teammates, you automatically develop a more positive attitude towards them. Plus, this makes it easier for you to understand how to best work with them for best results. And, when it’s natural and appropriate, give your colleagues props for their talents. They’ll remember it.

2. Practice gratitude. Spending time counting your blessings is a focused exercise in positive thinking.

3. Smile. You’ll be amazed what this can do for yourself and those around you. And, it’s super easy.

4. Be honest and true.Too much CYA’ing is stressful. Stress leads to negative emotions. Be upfront, forthcoming and honest in all you do and you’ll steer clear of this trap.

5. Know what you bring to the table. Every now and then stop a moment and consider your own strengths and talents. We don’t do this enough for ourselves. If you feel positive about yourself, your attitude spills over into all areas of your life.

6. Avoid gossip. You will never, ever be or feel positive after engaging in petty talk about other colleagues.

7. Work on continuous improvement. Learning new things, practicing new habits and taking action helps you avoid feeling stagnant. Being stagnant breeds negativity.

Just like negativity has a way of snowballing, positive people influence those around them. Develop a positive attitude and then keep an eye on your colleagues….you might just inspire them be more positive too!

Woman of the Week – Angie Joffe

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Each week, we feature a fantastic new woman we think you should know. Some of these women are clients, some are friends, some are women we’ve only just met. But they all have this in common: they are dynamic, interesting gals who have agreed to share with us their insights and secrets to success.

Angie Joffe

My Current Job/Company: Director, Human Resources for Horizon Lines, an Ocean Shipping and Logistics Company headquartered in Charlotte, NC.

My Birthdate:
10.10.63

My Work:
I feel my deepest level of job satisfaction when I am able to provide meaningful feedback and insight to an employee confronting a challenging issue, searching for a new career, or simply in need of someone who will listen. I’ve found that Human Resource professionals play a critical role in bridging the gap between an organization’s culture/current state, and the desired state, by providing candid and fact-based information to leaders who can influence change. I’m in this profession to make a difference.

My Passion:
Working hard, every day, to be the best mother, wife, daughter and friend that I can be.

My Family:
Jon (amazing husband) and three daughters, Sydney (23), Samantha (18) and Cameron (10)

My Heroes:
My parents, Tom and Sue Cooper. My parents taught me the importance of hard work and perseverance, and to be thankful every day for all of the blessings in my life.

My Escape:
I love the Caribbean, but after our recent move to North Carolina, I’ve fallen in love with the mountains!

My Pet Peeve:
Arrogance

My Indulgence:
Red wine, milk chocolate, floating on a raft in the pool on a hot summer day listening to music, and taking a nap on Sunday afternoon.

My Future:
Hectic, and loving every minute of it. This year, I have a daughter graduating from college, a daughter graduating from high school, and a daughter graduating from elementary school.

My Love:
My parents, my husband, my girls, my brother and my friends; Shopping and Ohio State Buckeye football

My Quote(s) on Life:

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” -Maya Angelou

“Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level.” -Max L. Forman

My Accessory:
I find the most enjoyment in accessorizing and decorating my home, however, my husband would say that I like shoes!

My Advice to Young Women:
Find confidence and build upon it every day. Surround yourself with outstanding mentors. Accept feedback and trust in the advice of those you admire. Acknowledge and learn from your mistakes, and then put them behind you and move on.

How I Balance it All….
Stay organized, align and realign priorities, set personal and professional goals.
Offer help when you can and receive help when you need it. Most importantly, take time to reflect on your life and your work, and give yourself a pat on the back!

Seven Signs It’s Time to Make a Change at Work

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By Chasity Kuttrus

If you haven’t been feeling quite “right” with your current job then you might be ready for a change. Effective change can be small…or it can be a complete overhaul. Change might mean talking with your boss about new responsibilities, breathing new life into your current job, going for a promotion or possibly leaving your company altogether. The important thing is to recognize when you need change.

Here are 7 signs that you’re probably ready to make some adjustments in your work life.

Major Procrastination – Everyone procrastinates a little bit but if it’s becoming a big problem for you and you’re having trouble getting anything significant started, you may be in need of some change.

Bringing it Home With You – When you’re not happy at work and you come home and take it out on your husband and kids…you need to take some action, fast. If your job is making you miserable, and it’s spilling over into your personal life, take a closer look at what’s happening at work and see what you can do to improve the situation.

Boredom – If you’re bored, you need to spice it up. The good news is this isn’t too hard. Talk with your boss, do some research, see if there are parts of your job that you would like to expand upon and parts that make you yawn. Who knows, you may be able to delegate those things you get bored with.

Stressful Competition – When competition at work is no longer “healthy competition,” and you’re expending all your energy trying to one up others (or keep them from one upping you) then it’s time to make a change.

Letting Others Dictate Your Career Path – Even entry-level employees should be driving their own careers. If you feel like you are no longer in control of your own career destiny then figure out a way to get back in control.

Apathy – This one is extremely dangerous. If you don’t care about your work, your company, your colleagues or your industry, then do yourself (and everyone else!) a favor and make some major changes to reignite your your interest….or find something else that you do care about.

Unclear Path to Success – Do you know what you’re working towards? Do you know what success looks like for you and how you’re going to get there? If not, you need spend some time figuring this out. Talk with your boss, hire a coach, do anything to help you set goals and strategies for meeting (and hopefully exceeding) them.

Change doesn’t have to be a bad thing. In fact, most of the time it’s good. But we all get set in our ways and change requires effort, so often we just continue with the way things are. Look out for signs you need to adjust and shake things up a bit…you’ll be much happier in the long run.

Woman of the Week – Carol McGuire

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Each week, we feature a fantastic new woman we think you should know. Some of these women are clients, some are friends, some are women we’ve only just met. But they all have this in common: they are dynamic, interesting gals who have agreed to share with us their insights and secrets to success.

Carol McGuire

My Current Job/Company:
President, CAM Associates, LLC

My Birthdate:
11/13/1950

My Work:
After years of publishing magazines and working with trade shows, I am in the process of shifting my work life in a new direction toward project management. I was asked recently to manage a residential renovation project and found that I thoroughly enjoyed it and was actually quite good at it.

My Passion:
My friends and giving back to my community.

My Family:
I have three younger brothers who have families, and my stepson, Scott and his wife, Gina and their two girls, Mia and Sophie.

My Heroes:
The Dalai Lama, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Barbara Jordan, and most recently, the 15-year-old Pakistani girl, Malala Yousafzai, whose extraordinary bravery and courage in fighting for an education sets an example for all of us.

My Escape:
Twice a year, I attend International Women’s Forum conferences that are held inside and outside of the U.S. These meetings are an opportunity to connect with women from all over the world, and where compelling panels and programming stretch one’s mind and heart.

My Pet Peeve:
Currently it is the horrible negative campaign ads from both political parties that we are all being constantly bombarded with. Whatever happened to civil discourse?

My Indulgence:
Dark chocolate, of course!

My Roots:
I’m a life-long Ohioan from a modest working class family.

My Future:
New directions with a new emphasis.

My Love:
My wonderful friends and my dog, Jake, a 16-year-old black and tan miniature dachshund.

My Movie:
I don’t go to a lot of movies but two favorites are “Michael Clayton” and “Charlie Wilson’s War.” Now TV is another story with PBS’ Masterpiece Theatre at the top of the list, specifically, “Downton Abby” with AMC’s “Mad Men” coming in a close second.

My Quote on Life:
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” -Dr. Seuss

My Accessory:
Gratitude. Having an attitude of gratitude is the best “accessory” I can think of except for maybe a killer pair of shoes!

My Advice to Young Women:
Be an ardent supporter of other women. It is essential and critical that we do this, more so now than ever before. As Madelyn Albright says, there’s a special place in Hell for those women who don’t.

How I Balance it All….
I don’t profess to have a good answer to this. It seems so individual to me. I do think it is important to ask oneself when addressing the many issues and situations we face on a daily basis – How important is it? The answer can help one prioritize…and determine which battles to fight or ignore; what things matter and those that don’t.